Step 5 of the Twelve Step Programme

Step 5 of Alcoholics Anonymous – Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

This step is about acknowledging to ourselves what we have done wrong and what are our defects of character. It is also about admitting them to God or our Higher Power – and also sharing these revelations with another human being. For many people this latter is the hardest part of this step. It can feel risky and therefore require courage. However, it can lead to inner healing, a feeling of forgiveness and release from guilt. It can also lead to more negative thoughts such as dejection, disappointment and exhaustion. In order for it to be a positive rather than a negative step there are some important considerations to bear in mind.

Moral inventory of resentments

Obviously the foundations for this fifth step are a solid fourth step. Your moral inventory of resentments, fears, lies, anger, pain and guilt and poor sex conduct should have been based on total honesty and should have been thorough and balanced. No secrets should have been kept hidden away for any reason whatsoever.

Who should I share this with?

First, think carefully about who to do it with. Most people would do it with their sponsor but there is no reason why this has to be. It has to be with a fellow human being – that is the only immutable stipulation. I have heard of someone who went to a meeting in a distant place, asked a complete stranger to listen to their step 4 with them – and then never went to that meeting again. This seems very extreme to me. It can be that you share your step 4 with more than one person. This tends to come up if people do not want to share their sex conduct with the person they are sharing the rest of their step 4 with. The person you share with should be of a certain type: they should be someone you can trust to keep your disclosure confidential; they should be someone who knows the Twelve Step programme and understands the significance and purpose of the Fifth Step. And they should have a certain degree of maturity and wisdom. They should be able to give you some feedback from that maturity and wisdom so that your fifth step is not just a monologue but a dialogue.

Don’t be afraid of Step 5 of Alcoholics Anonymous

Another thing that is very important is revealing all that you have learnt about yourself with no holds barred. Don’t be afraid to include the most embarrassing and awful things about yourself. It is likely that whoever is listening to your step 5 has heard it all before. They are highly unlikely to judge you – and the relief you will feel from sharing absolutely everything will be immense. You should realise you are not a bad person and you are not alone. Step 5 is a very important step on the way to long term sobriety and genuine peace of mind. It is about letting go of the past. Surrendering and making spiritual progress.

So don’t delay!

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